Feeling the Heat

Me on a hot day funny dog in fridge

Me on a hot day?

Yeah.  Pretty much.

I know they’ve got some “dry” heat going on over in the west, but when the Floridian humidity sticks to you, sometimes the only way to get relief is to attempt to encase yourself in the freezer.

Thanks to The Chive for the photo.

And be sure to follow me on Facebook at Roaming Rosie Remix to get glimpses of my deranged, and occasionally grammatically correct, sense of humor!

Roaming Rosie Signature

The Bookmark

Child Reading a Book Vintage Art

I have many bookmarks.

And by bookmarks, I mean tiny pieces of paper or old receipts or expired coupons that find their way into my books.

Part of the reason for this is that I can’t ever seem to find the few actual bookmarks I own when I go to start a new book, which leads me to the other reason:  said bookmarks are already being used within other books.

I tend to read multiple books at one time.

Or maybe I should say that I “start” to read multiple books at one time.  Over the years, there are more than a handful of books that I’ve drifted away from during a chapter that lagged and simply never finished them.

But I digress.  I came here to discuss bookmarks.

And sometimes you don’t even need bookmarks.  For example, one book I’m in the middle of is on my tablet.  The magical electronic device remembers my page for me.  In fact, when I was a kid, I didn’t even use bookmarks most of the time.  I just remembered the page number where I stopped.

My memory is no longer equipped for such a task.

Granted, my OCD forces me to look at the page numbers when I’m turning them to make sure I don’t miss a page {as if I wouldn’t notice}, but whether I put the book down for a few hours or a few days {or a few months}, I now find bookmarks to be essential.

Even tho I recently used a recipe that I’d cut from the back of a box of pasta as a bookmark, my normal go-to these days is two Post-it notes stuck together.  I usually have little pads of them lying around to jot down ideas or phone messages or grocery lists.  And I’ve found that by taking two Post-it notes and sticking them to each other with the sticky edges at opposite ends, it makes a nice sturdy square of paper.

Perfect for an impromptu bookmark.

But the fact that it also looks precisely like a normal Post-it note is what lead me to believe that my four-year-old daughter was just playing with a piece of the nearby pad of Post-its when I saw the yellow paper in her hand.

Until she opened up my big hardcover book, stuck the Post-it in between some pages, and closed it again.

Recognition {and panic} dawned.

“Was… was that my bookmark?  Did you take it out of my book?!?”

“Yes,” she answered, smiling sweetly.  “But I put it back.”

 

Roaming Rosie Signature

{photo source:  Zazzle}

 

Funny Cat Penance

It’s been well over 2 weeks since I’ve posted on my blog.

It’s amazing how life can become overwhelming sometimes, and how even something like this blog, which is a positive creative outlet in my life, can take a backseat to things like sleep.

Or collapsing into an unconscious state at my kids’ bedtime.

Either way.

Point is:  I’ve been neglecting you.

As penance, I shall now post a funny cat video in honor of the Internet Spirits.

This one makes me laugh every time.  :)

Roaming Rosie Signature

Molesting Alligators

DO NOT MOLEST OR FEED ALLIGATORS

This is a sign near a park we visit.

The playground is fenced in, so I don’t worry about alligators wandering around where my children are playing.

I am, however, a bit concerned about the idiots that inspired the need for the sign.

#OnlyInFlorida

Roaming Rosie Signature

Hide and Seek Expert

I became an expert at Hide and Seek, because the longer it takes my kids to find me, the longer I get to nap.

When I made this ecard stating, “I became an expert at Hide and Seek, because the longer it takes my kids to find me, the longer I get to nap,” I may have been exaggerating.

There is no such thing as a long nap.

Unless you consider thirty-seconds of being slumped over and drooling to be a nap.

But hey:  I’ll take what I can get.

Roaming Rosie Signature

 

Eating My Feelings

Some days are just one of those days.

Today is that day.

But don’t worry – I’ve got everything under control now: I’ve raided the kitchen.

Here are some of the feelings I’ve been feeling while digesting my feelings.

Don't try to tell me that hungry is not an emotion because I feel tht shit in my soul.

30 Rock:  I'm gonna go talk to some food about this.

I'm eating my feelings and they taste delicious.

My face when I see food.

These cookies are mine.  ALL MINE.

 

I'm sad when my food is over.

I’m glad we’re all on the same page now.

And I feel a little less alone.  :)

Roaming Rosie Signature

Taking {cheesy} Photos

Cheese!

I made this ecard because earlier today I was trying to snap a quick photo with my phone of my daughter doing something super cute.

I said her name to get her to look in my direction, but she never did.  Never took her eyes off what she was doing, BUT every time I called her name, she responded, “cheese!” and put on a fake smile.

I believe my two-year-old may have been mocking me…

Either way, it made me laugh.

Roaming Rosie Signature

Coffee for Your Inner Grumpy Cat

grumpy cat bring coffee

And that, my friends, is a picture of me in the mornings.

Seriously.

Especially cold mornings {and afternoons and evenings} like today.

But I suppose that’s why there’s now a coffee made for grumpy people:  the Grumppuccino.

The Grumpy Cat Grumppuccino Coffe

And just like its cheerful brother, the Frappuccino, it’s available in mocha, coffee, and vanilla.

Heck, you could even drink it out of a grumpy mug:

Grumpy Cat™ COFFEE NOW!!! Mug It’s like drinking out of a mirror…….

Spooky.

I must need more coffee.

Roaming Rosie Signature

Williams Shakespeare’s … Star Wars?

William Shakespeare's Star Wars

*gasp*

Shakespeare AND Star Wars???

I … must … own … this … *whimper*

I mean, really:  “These are not the droids for which thou searched … good lad, I prithee, go thy merry way…”

Funny and well written?  Seriously, this guy knows his Shakespeare.  I gotta get me some of this.

Here’s a preview from ThinkGeek:

If you’re as big a geek as me, you really need to check out William Shakespeare’s Star Wars.

This IS the book thou art looking for!

Roaming Rosie Signature

Momism #9: Snot Receptacles

Momism #9:  Snot Receptacles

We’ve all been there:  the kids have a cold but their noses haven’t been running all morning… until you take them out in public.

Maybe it’s at the playground, maybe it’s at the library, maybe it’s at the grocery store, but, suddenly, your eyes catch sight of a large stream of yellow slime sliding down your child’s face – and you don’t have your purse/diaper bag/tissues-of-any-kind easily available.

So you grab it.  With your fingers.  And wipe it on your jeans casually like none of the other moms can see what you’re doing.

Because maybe you remember the terror and disgust you felt as you watched another child wipe a monstrous glob of green goop all over their hands and then touch your child.

And because, even though you couldn’t help laughing when your toddler was hysterically giggling at how she’d somehow managed to cover an entire toy in her own snot while playing at the library, you just can’t willingly distribute your family’s sticky clumps of germs to innocent bystanders.

And so, somehow, quickly grabbing the slippery puddle with your own fingers presents itself as the best option.

Because the dramatic dive to the diaper bag wouldn’t be quick enough, even if the world passed by in some type of movie-worthy slow motion, and so you use your fingers and swear that you’re going to start carrying tissues in your pocket.

Even though you won’t remember until your kids sneezes projectile snot missiles all over the pasta boxes at Publix.

Sigh.  C’est la boogers vie.

Roaming Rosie Signature