When I made this ecard stating, “I became an expert at Hide and Seek, because the longer it takes my kids to find me, the longer I get to nap,” I may have been exaggerating.
There is no such thing as a long nap.
Unless you consider thirty-seconds of being slumped over and drooling to be a nap.
But hey: I’ll take what I can get.
We’ve all been there: the kids have a cold but their noses haven’t been running all morning… until you take them out in public.
Maybe it’s at the playground, maybe it’s at the library, maybe it’s at the grocery store, but, suddenly, your eyes catch sight of a large stream of yellow slime sliding down your child’s face – and you don’t have your purse/diaper bag/tissues-of-any-kind easily available.
So you grab it. With your fingers. And wipe it on your jeans casually like none of the other moms can see what you’re doing.
Because maybe you remember the terror and disgust you felt as you watched another child wipe a monstrous glob of green goop all over their hands and then touch your child.
And because, even though you couldn’t help laughing when your toddler was hysterically giggling at how she’d somehow managed to cover an entire toy in her own snot while playing at the library, you just can’t willingly distribute your family’s sticky clumps of germs to innocent bystanders.
And so, somehow, quickly grabbing the slippery puddle with your own fingers presents itself as the best option.
Because the dramatic dive to the diaper bag wouldn’t be quick enough, even if the world passed by in some type of movie-worthy slow motion, and so you use your fingers and swear that you’re going to start carrying tissues in your pocket.
Even though you won’t remember until your kids sneezes projectile snot missiles all over the pasta boxes at Publix.
Sigh. C’est la